Documentaries are ruining my life.....

First up, I would like to welcome severe climate change to upstate New York!  We are nearing the end of January and we have had hardly any snowfall. Actually, today it's 45 degrees and raining.  So, let's all bake some cookies, grab a bottle of cheap, re-gifted wine, whip up your Aunt Louise's famous cheesy casserole and roll out the welcome wagon for our new neighbor, Global Warming! Yea!  I actually don't know THAT much about global warming...I've watched a couple documentaries, both pro and con that the idea actually exists. I was a little freaked out after I watched An Inconvenient Truth by Al Gore (you know him, George W. thinks he was the creator of the internets). I can see the changes in our climate and landscape, I trust the scientists that are producing data to explain what is happening to our planet....but I don't think I am very committed to help stop what is happening. Really, what else can I do?  I am a gardener by trade, I have an organic vegetable garden in the warm months, I walk places rather than drive when I can, I keep my thermostat at about 60 degrees during the winter. I have solar lighting outside, I have motion sensor halogen lights throughout my house, I use water from my dehumidifier to water my indoor plants. I recycle, I reuse, I support local organic farmers and am about 90% pesticide free in my home. Pretty good huh? No...... not according to many. Click on this link and see how many of these 50 actions you are currently performing  http://www.matessa.org/~mike/50ways.html . Can you really sell everything you own and replace it with newer, more eco-friendly items? NO? Me neither......I am too poor to help stop this change .... So, I don't actively think about how my actions are effecting our mother Earth...it's easier that way....Plus I am too busy scaring the crap out of myself by watching all the food documentaries out there.  Raise of hands of all of you who stopped eating chicken after watching Food, Inc......  Yeah, me too.  In the past two years, I have completely changed what I eat and how I prepare food.  I am sure most people boycotted McDonalds for a month or two after watching Super Size Me....but after you watch watch films like Food, Inc., King Corn, Food Matters, The Future of Food, you will never look at food the same again.  It's terrifying how our food is grown, processed and preserved. Food scares me. Not saying that I have stopped eating, but I can't enjoy a meal anymore. I don't find pleasure in going out to dinner either, because I have to agonize over a menu of food that I have no control over. No control of where it came from, what's in it or how it's handled before it's served to me. And I know that I, myself, am fully to blame for this, but I can't stop watching these documentaries.  I constantly warn people what will happen to them when they watch these films, but I can't seem to stop myself. My Netflix queue is full of these types of movies. I am obsessed with being obsessed with this. Maybe I need an intervention. Or at least a hobby at this point.

So, let's shift topics and talk about what happened in South Carolina over the weekend.  Newt? Really? I guess the good people of South Carolina deemed him as the lesser of the handful of crazies that are competing for the Commander in Chief position.  Really? This is a man who filed for divorce from his first wife a day after she had cancer surgery, left his second wife when she was diagnosed with MS (all while sleeping with a young White House aid) ....Then he married the adulterous aid.... I see a pattern forming and truly hope the current Mrs. Gingrich is in excellent health. Otherwise it will be Na na na na, na na na, hey hey hey .... goodbye! It's hard to believe that he could have compassion for the American people, whom he has no correlation with, when he ignores the "in sickness and health" vow in his first two marriages and leaves these two sickly women to fend for themselves. Plus, could I really respect a President who sports jowls and a wattle? Ugh....nope. I really never hear what he says because I am all caught up staring at that loose fleshy mass under his chin.  Could he tuck that extra skin in his collar to stop it from bouncing around when he speaks? I would appreciate it if he could just put it away....somewhere...anywhere.

Let's talk about the Jehovah's Witnesses who won't stop coming to my house every Sunday.  I made the mistake around Halloween to actually have a brief conversation with the ladies who came to my door. I made it clear right from the start that I was an atheist, but would listen to what they had to say.  With hearing the "A" word, these ladies lit up! They wondered if I had questions about the Bible because I obviously was uneducated in the field of religion and very confused. They mentioned that there may be some wickedness surrounding me and they could help me with that.  Through their interpretation of the Bible, which is not literal, they could help me find my way......even though I am pretty sure I am not lost. At one point the word Armageddon was thrown out and I was dumbfounded. So now these two sharply dressed women have gotten my attention. I tell them I have many questions, but they do not have time now to talk to me.  They need to spread the word of Jehovah to many others that day and would come back to sit down and answer all of my questions. All of them? Cool.  I'd better start making a list.  Well, over two months went by and no witnesses ever came back.  So, I lost interest in the ridiculousness of Armageddon and threw out my list of questions. Now, since the beginning of the year, these women have come every Sunday to rap on my door. I just ignore them, I don't even hide, so I know they see me in the house.....who cares.  But today, a lone man came to my house.With the backing of three German Shepherds, I answered the door. Through the crazy barking of the dogs, he managed to get some words out.... which brings me to the stupid question of the day...."Have I found Jesus?"  Ummmmm.....truthfully, I didn't know he was missing. But if I had found Jesus, don't you think I would have told someone?  What would I do with him? Called the local news station or maybe would have charged people $5 to walk through my house to see Jesus drinking coffee in my kitchen? I just looked at him and said "No, I haven't been looking for him". Before he could say anything else, I just shut the door on him. Hopefully this will stop them from coming to my house from now on. If not, I am going to make every one of their visits extremely uncomfortable. I almost hope they come back just one more time.

I found a very disturbing (aka very entertaining) website by accident today. All I have to say is that Jesus is your homeboy...I think I once had a t-shirt that said that. Anyway, share this link with all the children in your life and you too can be their homeboy....yo. http://www.landoverbaptist.net/PS3.htm

Today I received several emails regarding online dating sites. Not just any online dating sites, but ones that obviously are specific to me and my lifestyle.....
- Christian Singles
- Senior Singles
- Facebook Speed dating (what?)
I'm a 42 year old atheist that is not on Facebook....where do I sign up?


Thanks to everyone who commented either on this site or privately thru my email. Keep the stupid questions coming and don't forget to follow the blog!

Toodles,
Jules