My day started with the unmistakable sound of one of my dogs dry heaving downstairs. It's my fault...I let Gracie get too husky after her ACL surgery and now she is on a diet. She has an anxiety issue as it is, so when she hears her stomach growling for food in the morning, she gets all worked up like she is starving. If she could just read one of the digital clocks on the appliances in the kitchen, she would know that breakfast will be served shortly. This is not the first time this has happened. So I get up and feed all the fur babies and decide it's a good morning for oatmeal. I made a nice organic oatmeal and added a handful of raisins to remind me to chew my food. One of the raisins was the consistency of a rock and I chipped one of my rear teeth (i'm not a dentist, so I don't know it's official tooth name, it's like #5 back there). I chipped a tooth on a raisin, wtf. It's now 9am, I'm defeated and ready to go back to bed.
Today I called my doctor's office for the 3rd time to see what the results of my heart ECG machine were. Yes, you did read that right, I've called 3 times. Today I made the poor office receptionist listen to my life story to make sure she realized how ridiculous it was that I haven't heard from any body. Well, it worked. Shortly after I talked the receptionist's ear off, a nurse called me back and told me I must make an appointment with the cardiologist because there were frequent heart palpitations that showed up on my monitor. It's been 2 weeks since I turned the ECG unit back in to the cardiologist's office....and no one thought it was important to call me and let me know my heart isn't beating properly. It's now about 11am, I am livid and ready to pick a fight.
I had a fruit fly land on my eyeball today as well. I saw it circling my face for a split second, then whammy! it was in my eye. How gross...I had to fish it out of my eye to kill it. It's February 27th, why the hell do I have fruit flies? There is no rotten fruit or garbage sitting in my house. I think I have to blame the weather and my plants on this one. I've had a few fruit flies here and there before...but not Kamikazee fruit flies that are intentionally trying to hurt me. That sucked the fight out of me and now I'm nothing but disgusted.
I decided that I would try to go and get a nice relaxing massage tomorrow...I have a couple of those awesome Groupon's for massages that I bought a while ago. I figure I might as well try to relax and melt away my day, stress can't be good for someone with such a fragile heart (ha! I wonder how long I can play that card for?). So I call the first massage place and I get a recording that goes something like this (read in a very calm, breathy voice out loud)..."thank you for calling the so-n-so massage center, currently no one is available to take your call. Please call back during our work hours which are Monday 10-2:30, Tuesday 8-noon & 3-5, Wednesday 10-4, Thursday 10-2:30 and Friday 8-1. You can schedule a massage Monday through Thursday until 5pm, half day Friday and Saturday. We look forward to hearing from you again." I almost threw my phone out the kitchen window. It was too much information and I wasn't prepared. So I had to get a pen & paper and call the number again. Now my stress level is through the roof trying to keep up with this very relaxed woman cramming 3 minutes of information into a 50 second voice mail. I finally just hung up.. who would have thought trying to schedule a comforting massage could be so damn frustrating. So I called the other massage place, prepared with pen in hand, to see if they could be less stressful. I got another voice mail that belonged to a woman named Theresa who instructed me to leave a message and she would get back to me within 48 hours. 48 hours? Does she only have access to a payphone down the street or something? Is she dangerously close to running out of minutes on her cell phone and has to wait for the next billing cycle to get more time? Now my head is pounding and I'm back to being pissed off at my doctor....it's now about 3pm. I should have gone back to bed after my dental incident this morning.
I am very proud to announce that I got my first semi contradictory comment on a blog posting. It was in response to my posting titled "I'm gonna burst" on the religiously charged politics that are going on in Virginia. I, on one hand, am happy that I am stirring the pot on certain topics and allowing my readers to speak their mind. On the other hand I was a little taken aback on naivety on the comments made by this person. For example, she (and I'm assuming it was a she) thought that the intravaginal ultrasound possibly being forced on women before an abortion was " no more evasive than it was to create this life to begin with". I think, when you are a victim of rape or incest, this is would be a horribly, evasive procedure. Having a strange doctor stick a wand like instrument inside of you that is not medically necessary, could be labeled as a form of rape. BUT I am not here to argue with someone's comments or beliefs...I am someone who can agree to disagree...but before you preach your thoughts, make sure you think them through thoroughly. I would think that most educated women who have had to terminate a pregnancy, agonized over coming to that decision...fully aware of the embryo or fetus that was inside of them. As I said, I am not here to criticize any one who wishes to leave a comment. I just think that our world would be in more of a compassionate state if people thought with more of an open mind when it comes to social issues. Diversity is what our country is built upon. Bias and prejudice is what is keeping us from evolving and tearing us apart as a nation. Love thy neighbor...no matter who or what they are.
Wow...I was really all over the place on that....sorry. I think I need to lighten up...maybe a massage would help...maybe not. I think I will just go upstairs with a glass of wine, a "massage pill" (aka muscle relaxer) and a good book.
Oh wait, before I go....I am up to $32 on ad revenue. Holy crap...look what you've done!!! I was thinking about investing the money as well...any one have any good stock tips? Keep up the good work my faithful followers...one day this fortune will spilleth over to your cup.
G'Night!
Jules
Monday, February 27, 2012
Thursday, February 23, 2012
I'M GONNA BURST.....
Virginia is for lovers losers....
What the hell is going on in Virginia? Are the lawmakers there trying to go back, socially, to when the state was first ratified? First they pass a bill that allows private adoption agencies to deny adoption to anyone who isn't heterosexual. Then they try to pass a bill that forces women to have invasive ultrasounds before an abortion is performed. When I mean invasive, I mean an instrument is put inside a women to take the ultrasound, rather than the usual scan through a 'gelled up belly' method. Okay, let me get my thoughts straight and rational before I start my rant......
As far as allowing agencies to deny any one who is homosexual the right to adopt is ludicrous. Is it really better for a child to grow up in an institution or in a number of foster homes, rather than a home that has two same sex parents that will love this child unconditionally? I have never heard any scientific studies indicating that children who are raised by same sex parents are any different than kids who are raised in a traditional family atmosphere. The only difference, I can see, is that the kids who are raised by same sex parents are more tolerant and open minded when it comes to diversity. Wow....isn't that a trait all children should have? I grew up in a pretty liberal family, so I can't get my head around decisions like this. Growing up, I only knew one gay person, my Uncle Charles. I truly believe that without knowing him, I wouldn't be the person I am today. He taught me to receptive to nontraditional ideas, ways and lifestyles. He taught me how to laugh at myself, be forgiving of people and to care for those I love...no matter what. He was an advocate for people to be themselves, follow their dreams, and be who they were meant to be...no matter what other people thought. We talked about people who weren't tolerant of diversity or change and that we also had to accept their intolerance as a part of who they were. Because of him, I see the world differently. Because of him, I am more accepting. Because of him, I....am....me. So, I don't think a religious zealot, sitting behind a desk, should not have the right to deny a nontraditional couple the right to have a child because it goes against their beliefs. You know what goes against my "beliefs"? The ongoing, excessive abuse of children by the men who proclaim that they are the voice of "God" ...the same clergy who preach about the sins of homosexuality. Maybe instead of denying children the right to have a loving family, these people should focus more on sheltering children from the sexual predators that are running their churches.
Next....
I don't even know where to start on the preabortion ultrasound issue. So let me get this straight.... a Virginian women ends up pregnant and has made the decision to abort, which is her constitutional right. But, in an effort to make the woman change her mind on terminating the pregnancy, Virginia lawmakers (mostly Republican men) want to force women to have an invasive, intravaginal ultrasound so they see what they are killing. What? Even in the case of a pregnancy that is the result of a rape or incest. Ugh .... what?
Okay, so now the Governor of VA has amended this bill; it still requires a preabortion ultrasound, but now the woman can choose between a traditional outer body ultrasound, or have the "cold, long wand" intravaginal ultrasound. How is that a compromise? It is not necessary to have an ultrasound if you are terminating a pregnancy. Sometimes one has to be done, but only if it's medically necessary. Not morally necessary.... and these are the morals of the people who are not making the difficult decision of having an abortion. Oh, may I add since it is not medically necessary, most insurance companies won't cover this unneeded procedure. So, not only will women be humiliated, they will have to pay for their humiliation out of pocket. Senator Janet Howell wanted to show how ridiculous this bill is by adding an amendment that would have required men to receive digital rectal exams and cardiac stress tests before they would be able to be prescribed meds such as Viagra and Cialis. Seems fair? Of course, it was shut down immediately....apparently male Virginian lawmakers are not fans of "hands in" rectal exams. Party poopers....
Also, a bill in Virginia has been passed through the House that grants all stages of unborn children the same rights as actual people. This "Personhood" bill, grants rights to a fertilized egg. Apparently, the state of Virginia wants to negate their female citizens of their rights, and give them to fetuses that cannot live without the a female body to inhabit (remember the movie Aliens?). So, would that make abortion murder? And doctors would be murderers? See how ass backwards this is? Hopefully this bill gets shut down in the Senate. Why don't we let the unborn fetuses vote on it...
What's next? Will women have to take a written competence test before they exercise their right to vote?
Since when did women's rights become the forefront of our politics? Shouldn't we be focusing more on economic issues? I'm sure there are people in Virginia who are unemployed, starving and/or homeless that the Senators should be showing more interest in. At first I thought the presidential debates were funny, now they are nothing but disturbing. The candidates are focusing on everything they should not be focusing on....each other. And they are bringing attention to irrelevant issues through their mud slinging.
To my Syrian relatives who live across the pond....stop the violence. The U.N. has now accused Syrian official's of crimes against humanity. Yikes. To my fellow Americans....stop going to Syria...you're gonna die. Common sense people....common sense.
I think I need to go run with puppies, butterflies and magical unicorns in the park to get this unbelievable nonsense out of my head.
Guess what faithful readers!?!? I have reached the $20 mark on ad revenue! I feel as if I should be paying you!! How about when I reach the $50 mark, I will all send you $1? I will let you know when I hit that mark and you all can email me your mailing addresses. To those who are clicking on my ads...thank you!! To those who are not.....why?
I have to go to Wegmans tonight....so you know something will happen to me. Stay tuned!!!!!
Jules
What the hell is going on in Virginia? Are the lawmakers there trying to go back, socially, to when the state was first ratified? First they pass a bill that allows private adoption agencies to deny adoption to anyone who isn't heterosexual. Then they try to pass a bill that forces women to have invasive ultrasounds before an abortion is performed. When I mean invasive, I mean an instrument is put inside a women to take the ultrasound, rather than the usual scan through a 'gelled up belly' method. Okay, let me get my thoughts straight and rational before I start my rant......
As far as allowing agencies to deny any one who is homosexual the right to adopt is ludicrous. Is it really better for a child to grow up in an institution or in a number of foster homes, rather than a home that has two same sex parents that will love this child unconditionally? I have never heard any scientific studies indicating that children who are raised by same sex parents are any different than kids who are raised in a traditional family atmosphere. The only difference, I can see, is that the kids who are raised by same sex parents are more tolerant and open minded when it comes to diversity. Wow....isn't that a trait all children should have? I grew up in a pretty liberal family, so I can't get my head around decisions like this. Growing up, I only knew one gay person, my Uncle Charles. I truly believe that without knowing him, I wouldn't be the person I am today. He taught me to receptive to nontraditional ideas, ways and lifestyles. He taught me how to laugh at myself, be forgiving of people and to care for those I love...no matter what. He was an advocate for people to be themselves, follow their dreams, and be who they were meant to be...no matter what other people thought. We talked about people who weren't tolerant of diversity or change and that we also had to accept their intolerance as a part of who they were. Because of him, I see the world differently. Because of him, I am more accepting. Because of him, I....am....me. So, I don't think a religious zealot, sitting behind a desk, should not have the right to deny a nontraditional couple the right to have a child because it goes against their beliefs. You know what goes against my "beliefs"? The ongoing, excessive abuse of children by the men who proclaim that they are the voice of "God" ...the same clergy who preach about the sins of homosexuality. Maybe instead of denying children the right to have a loving family, these people should focus more on sheltering children from the sexual predators that are running their churches.
Next....
I don't even know where to start on the preabortion ultrasound issue. So let me get this straight.... a Virginian women ends up pregnant and has made the decision to abort, which is her constitutional right. But, in an effort to make the woman change her mind on terminating the pregnancy, Virginia lawmakers (mostly Republican men) want to force women to have an invasive, intravaginal ultrasound so they see what they are killing. What? Even in the case of a pregnancy that is the result of a rape or incest. Ugh .... what?
Okay, so now the Governor of VA has amended this bill; it still requires a preabortion ultrasound, but now the woman can choose between a traditional outer body ultrasound, or have the "cold, long wand" intravaginal ultrasound. How is that a compromise? It is not necessary to have an ultrasound if you are terminating a pregnancy. Sometimes one has to be done, but only if it's medically necessary. Not morally necessary.... and these are the morals of the people who are not making the difficult decision of having an abortion. Oh, may I add since it is not medically necessary, most insurance companies won't cover this unneeded procedure. So, not only will women be humiliated, they will have to pay for their humiliation out of pocket. Senator Janet Howell wanted to show how ridiculous this bill is by adding an amendment that would have required men to receive digital rectal exams and cardiac stress tests before they would be able to be prescribed meds such as Viagra and Cialis. Seems fair? Of course, it was shut down immediately....apparently male Virginian lawmakers are not fans of "hands in" rectal exams. Party poopers....
Also, a bill in Virginia has been passed through the House that grants all stages of unborn children the same rights as actual people. This "Personhood" bill, grants rights to a fertilized egg. Apparently, the state of Virginia wants to negate their female citizens of their rights, and give them to fetuses that cannot live without the a female body to inhabit (remember the movie Aliens?). So, would that make abortion murder? And doctors would be murderers? See how ass backwards this is? Hopefully this bill gets shut down in the Senate. Why don't we let the unborn fetuses vote on it...
What's next? Will women have to take a written competence test before they exercise their right to vote?
Since when did women's rights become the forefront of our politics? Shouldn't we be focusing more on economic issues? I'm sure there are people in Virginia who are unemployed, starving and/or homeless that the Senators should be showing more interest in. At first I thought the presidential debates were funny, now they are nothing but disturbing. The candidates are focusing on everything they should not be focusing on....each other. And they are bringing attention to irrelevant issues through their mud slinging.
To my Syrian relatives who live across the pond....stop the violence. The U.N. has now accused Syrian official's of crimes against humanity. Yikes. To my fellow Americans....stop going to Syria...you're gonna die. Common sense people....common sense.
I think I need to go run with puppies, butterflies and magical unicorns in the park to get this unbelievable nonsense out of my head.
Guess what faithful readers!?!? I have reached the $20 mark on ad revenue! I feel as if I should be paying you!! How about when I reach the $50 mark, I will all send you $1? I will let you know when I hit that mark and you all can email me your mailing addresses. To those who are clicking on my ads...thank you!! To those who are not.....why?
I have to go to Wegmans tonight....so you know something will happen to me. Stay tuned!!!!!
Jules
Wednesday, February 22, 2012
MY RESET BUTTON...
Just some random thoughts to get out of my head so I can stop obsessing and get on with my day...
- I keep getting texts from friends after midnight that were sent to me in error...or were they?
- I think there is a night gnome that sneaks into my house and wire brushes my lips while I sleep. I wake up with pointy shards of skin on my mouth every morning. I apply lip balm before I go to bed, but it never seems to help. Would those be epidermal stalactites or stalagmites?
- I hate gnomes, lawn jockeys, garden fairies....anything small that just stands there and stares. I guess children would fall under that category as well.
- What is the point of a miniature pony?
- I wonder what my cat's BTU rating is...she's warm to the touch.
- My Christmas cactus is obviously agnostic....it blooms all year round at random, non secular times.
- Why are mattresses always on sale for President's Day? I must have skipped school the day we learned about the importance of proper bedding and our forefathers.
- Is 'forefathers' supposed to be capitalized?
- Is it okay to eat dip when you run out of crackers or bread? It just doesn't seem right to me to eat a spoon full of dip by itself.
- To my pets, every one has a name but me. They know each other by name, they know all my friends, family and neighbors by name....but I am nameless. You could say my name and they would just tilt their heads and stare at you. I wonder if they have a noise for me instead?
- Is Saturday Night Live trying to have horrible musical guests? If so, BRAVO!
Ok, good....now I have a clean slate.
Jules
(click, click, click away!!!)
- I keep getting texts from friends after midnight that were sent to me in error...or were they?
- I think there is a night gnome that sneaks into my house and wire brushes my lips while I sleep. I wake up with pointy shards of skin on my mouth every morning. I apply lip balm before I go to bed, but it never seems to help. Would those be epidermal stalactites or stalagmites?
- I hate gnomes, lawn jockeys, garden fairies....anything small that just stands there and stares. I guess children would fall under that category as well.
- What is the point of a miniature pony?
- I wonder what my cat's BTU rating is...she's warm to the touch.
- My Christmas cactus is obviously agnostic....it blooms all year round at random, non secular times.
- Why are mattresses always on sale for President's Day? I must have skipped school the day we learned about the importance of proper bedding and our forefathers.
- Is 'forefathers' supposed to be capitalized?
- Is it okay to eat dip when you run out of crackers or bread? It just doesn't seem right to me to eat a spoon full of dip by itself.
- To my pets, every one has a name but me. They know each other by name, they know all my friends, family and neighbors by name....but I am nameless. You could say my name and they would just tilt their heads and stare at you. I wonder if they have a noise for me instead?
- Is Saturday Night Live trying to have horrible musical guests? If so, BRAVO!
Ok, good....now I have a clean slate.
Jules
(click, click, click away!!!)
Thursday, February 16, 2012
MOOOOOOOOLAH!
Thank you readers! After one full day of ad clicking, I have now banked $9.05 worth of revenue! Wow-weeee! That's 4 cans of dog food! Let's see how much money the good people of Google are willing to pay me through your dedicated clicks!!! I need one of those money boards like telethons have to show the dollars accruing from all of your hard work. I wonder if Jerry Lewis has a few extra tally boards laying around....I will keep you posted!
So, in addition to being able to track how much money I am getting from my Google Ads, I can also trace the location of the people reading my blog. Not detailed locations like "checked from bathroom stall located at 123 Main Street", but I can see which countries I am acquiring readers from. I am happy to report that I have a few faithful readers in Russia, Germany and Canada (thanks Eric!!). How these people found my blog is beyond me, but I am proud to announce that I am now international, better yet intercontinental.....now I must strive for intergalactic!
I saw in the local news today that two area county SPCA's were raided by the New York State Police for animal cruelty. So, let me get this straight....the organization called the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has been raided for animal cruelty.....Irony at it's finest.
Does anyone know if they make Breathe Right strips for cats? I am having a nightly issue with a snoring cat that sounds like someone playing an extremely out of tune violin. Any suggestions (that don't require drowning, duct taping or needle nose pliers) on how to remedy this situation are greatly appreciated.
No news from the doctor yet regarding my pumper....I am sure whomever had to read my minute by minute diary of everything I did while wearing the heart holter was very amused....or very disturbed. I had entries like, "yelled at dog for 20th time to leave the cat alone", "vacuumed up never ending piles of dog hair...again", "went upstairs 3x because I kept forgetting what I was going up there for". I did start taking my Vitamin D as instructed....I may have found the perfect vitamin vessel so I don't have to swallow pills. I am eating a caramel cube, that has enough Vitamin D, Vitamin K and Calcium as I was prescribed. So basically my doctor has told me to eat caramel twice a day....nice. It goes well with my daily gummy bear and sour patch vitamins. Now if only someone would make pizza extra nutritious.
Today while at Wegmans I was shocked at what a store employee said to me. I was standing waiting to get a couple scratch off tickets from the lotto vending machine when an elderly, handicapped man came and stood by me. It was obvious that he was having a hard time walking (since one of his legs was about 6" shorter than the other and it was facing in the wrong direction). He said he was on his way to get a handicapped cart, but wanted to get some scratch offs first (senior priorities!). I politely let him go ahead of me because I thought he was going to fall over.....and I sure as hell wasn't going to pick his ass up off the floor. Well, two of the lotto machines became available at the same time; he went to one and I went to the other. So, I get my $5 worth of tickets and this male worker came right up to me and said "I really hope you get some winning tickets, a pretty girl like you deserves to win." What the hell? I looked at him, then looked at the poor guy next to me who has one foot in the grave already. I was mortified for him, then I thought .... you're right mister. At least I'll have time to spend my millions.
It usually takes me a whole day to compose a blog posting, mainly because I have nothing to say. So I have actually started carrying a notepad with me where ever I go.... this is for several reasons....
1 - I have the mental retention of a 2 year old staring at a shiny coin.
2 - I sometimes just need to write things down to get them out of my head.
3 - To look important.
4 - I like to look at someone, then write something down just to see what their reaction is.
5 - I have nothing better to do.
6 - I like to buy new notebooks.
I would like to give a big thumbs up to the New Jersey Assembly for passing the Gay Marriage Bill. I would like to give a big, fat middle finger up to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie who has promised to veto the bill. For this foolish man, as Marilyn Manson so beautifully sang, "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers". The only things this man should be vetoing are his chins (#3-#8) and all the extra portions of food he devours. I wonder how much money it is costing the New Jersey taxpayers to feed their Governor ... seriously.
Excitement in my neighborhood....Rudy Lepore, a lawyer who lives around the corner from me has been sentenced to 5 years of probation and 200 hours of community service in his connection to helping 2 inmates escape from jail last year. Yes, you read that right...a lawyer aided in the jail break. He has plead guilty to bringing in a cell phone (and it's charger) and giving it to one of the inmates.....which is a big no no. Way to go Rudy Lepore, way to make people distrust lawyers even more.... moron.
Well, my I.T. guy (Uncle Timmy) has steered me into using Twitter as another element to getting my nonsense out to the general public. So, soon I will be twittering (I am not ready to use the word Tweeting) and you can have small Julie blurbs 24/7. LUCKY YOU!!!
I'd like to welcome my favorite uncle Eric (New Yorker turned Mexican Canadian "mexi-dian") as a new follower of mine. He is also one of the hippest, most attractive people that I know. Don't you want to be like Eric? If so, follow me!!! All the cool kids are.....
Ok, I have to go see if I won on my scratch offs.....
J!
So, in addition to being able to track how much money I am getting from my Google Ads, I can also trace the location of the people reading my blog. Not detailed locations like "checked from bathroom stall located at 123 Main Street", but I can see which countries I am acquiring readers from. I am happy to report that I have a few faithful readers in Russia, Germany and Canada (thanks Eric!!). How these people found my blog is beyond me, but I am proud to announce that I am now international, better yet intercontinental.....now I must strive for intergalactic!
I saw in the local news today that two area county SPCA's were raided by the New York State Police for animal cruelty. So, let me get this straight....the organization called the Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals has been raided for animal cruelty.....Irony at it's finest.
Does anyone know if they make Breathe Right strips for cats? I am having a nightly issue with a snoring cat that sounds like someone playing an extremely out of tune violin. Any suggestions (that don't require drowning, duct taping or needle nose pliers) on how to remedy this situation are greatly appreciated.
No news from the doctor yet regarding my pumper....I am sure whomever had to read my minute by minute diary of everything I did while wearing the heart holter was very amused....or very disturbed. I had entries like, "yelled at dog for 20th time to leave the cat alone", "vacuumed up never ending piles of dog hair...again", "went upstairs 3x because I kept forgetting what I was going up there for". I did start taking my Vitamin D as instructed....I may have found the perfect vitamin vessel so I don't have to swallow pills. I am eating a caramel cube, that has enough Vitamin D, Vitamin K and Calcium as I was prescribed. So basically my doctor has told me to eat caramel twice a day....nice. It goes well with my daily gummy bear and sour patch vitamins. Now if only someone would make pizza extra nutritious.
Today while at Wegmans I was shocked at what a store employee said to me. I was standing waiting to get a couple scratch off tickets from the lotto vending machine when an elderly, handicapped man came and stood by me. It was obvious that he was having a hard time walking (since one of his legs was about 6" shorter than the other and it was facing in the wrong direction). He said he was on his way to get a handicapped cart, but wanted to get some scratch offs first (senior priorities!). I politely let him go ahead of me because I thought he was going to fall over.....and I sure as hell wasn't going to pick his ass up off the floor. Well, two of the lotto machines became available at the same time; he went to one and I went to the other. So, I get my $5 worth of tickets and this male worker came right up to me and said "I really hope you get some winning tickets, a pretty girl like you deserves to win." What the hell? I looked at him, then looked at the poor guy next to me who has one foot in the grave already. I was mortified for him, then I thought .... you're right mister. At least I'll have time to spend my millions.
(DON'T WORRY PEOPLE, I AM ALREADY GOING TO HELL)
1 - I have the mental retention of a 2 year old staring at a shiny coin.
2 - I sometimes just need to write things down to get them out of my head.
3 - To look important.
4 - I like to look at someone, then write something down just to see what their reaction is.
5 - I have nothing better to do.
6 - I like to buy new notebooks.
I would like to give a big thumbs up to the New Jersey Assembly for passing the Gay Marriage Bill. I would like to give a big, fat middle finger up to New Jersey Governor Chris Christie who has promised to veto the bill. For this foolish man, as Marilyn Manson so beautifully sang, "I wasn't born with enough middle fingers". The only things this man should be vetoing are his chins (#3-#8) and all the extra portions of food he devours. I wonder how much money it is costing the New Jersey taxpayers to feed their Governor ... seriously.
Excitement in my neighborhood....Rudy Lepore, a lawyer who lives around the corner from me has been sentenced to 5 years of probation and 200 hours of community service in his connection to helping 2 inmates escape from jail last year. Yes, you read that right...a lawyer aided in the jail break. He has plead guilty to bringing in a cell phone (and it's charger) and giving it to one of the inmates.....which is a big no no. Way to go Rudy Lepore, way to make people distrust lawyers even more.... moron.
Well, my I.T. guy (Uncle Timmy) has steered me into using Twitter as another element to getting my nonsense out to the general public. So, soon I will be twittering (I am not ready to use the word Tweeting) and you can have small Julie blurbs 24/7. LUCKY YOU!!!
I'd like to welcome my favorite uncle Eric (New Yorker turned Mexican Canadian "mexi-dian") as a new follower of mine. He is also one of the hippest, most attractive people that I know. Don't you want to be like Eric? If so, follow me!!! All the cool kids are.....
Ok, I have to go see if I won on my scratch offs.....
J!
Tuesday, February 14, 2012
BLOODY CRAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
Happy Tuesday all.....the worst day of the year to be single. Yet tomorrow, post Valentine's Day is the best day to be single....why you ask? Simple, it's the day that many, many girlfriends and wives will be terribly disappointed in the crappy gifts they got the day before. Plus, all the chocolate is on sale!! Woohoo! I unfortunately saw someone yesterday that I didn't want to see....and it has put a funk in my Valentine spirit. You always think you are strong until you come face to face with your emotional kryptonite. Oh well, it's his loss....
I have some exciting news!!! I think I have made one dollar and seventy-two cents (yes $1.72) from the ads posted on the web. I looked into it more closely, and figured out that only one person has clicked on an ad. Ummm....do better my faithful readers!!! If every reader would just click on one ad each time they visit my blog, I could make some serious change. And by change, I mean coinage....and by coinage, I mean hardly anything. I truly think that if I have the incentive of making money from this blog, I would take the time to write more. I am also thinking about taking the blog on the road to local wi-fi hot spots. I find in the winter, being a recluse, there are no stupid questions being asked of me, and that makes me wonder who all the stupid people are talking to.
So I had a physical by my doctor last Thursday. This is the first physical I've had since I worked at Kodak, about twenty years ago.
This is what I learned:
-My doctor has no idea who I am.
-I get lightheaded when asked to take deep breaths more than 8 times in a row.
-I am Vitamin D deficient.
-I always race to get undressed and into the gown, just to sit there for 10 minutes...waiting.
-The woman who works in the blood lab is a Jesus freak...even had Jesus themed Valentine decorations up in her office. I almost stole one of them to add to my Jesus shrine on my refrigerator.
-My ticker isn't ticking right....of course it isn't, it's me.
I am immediately sent from the doctor's office to the cardiologist to be hooked up to a heart holter (portable ECG unit) for 24 hours. What fun! So I get sent home with wires hanging off of 5 electrode patches that are stuck to me and plugged into the unit. The wires have been taped down all over my stomach and are getting all caught up on my shirt. I am to keep a running diary of every thing I do for the next 24 hours so they can see what is causing my heart palpitations/flutters. In the middle of the night, I wake up and find that 2 of the 5 patches are no longer stuck to me. What a bust! I call the cardiologist the next morning and they tell me to come back in on Monday to get hooked up again for another 24 hours. I am instructed to take off the electrodes and disconnect the unit....off course the tape they used on me has melded to my skin like super glue. I can't rip it off to save my life. I soak my taped skin in baby oil and it still won't budge. I finally get a small corner of one of the strips lifted by saturating my body in Goo Gone (clean orange scent!). As I rip each patch off of me, I notice that my skin is coming off with the tape. This is reminiscent of the time I had a bandaid on my forehead and when I ripped it off, it left a skinless impression of the bandaid on my face. Ouch! So, I went back to the cardiologist yesterday and brought my own tape for them to use. The nurse was shocked to see the red welts from the tape still on my body after 2 days. She had a good laugh over how I look like I've been branded. Ha...not funny lady. Unfortunately she has to add some liquid glue to the electrodes to ensure their tackiness. I am sure they will rip my skin off later when I remove the unit.
I don't know when I will get the results of my heart monitor reading....but I will let everyone know if I have a broken heart or what.
Now I would like to take a mili-moment of silence to honor a fallen sista....Whitney Houston.
Here is my favorite memory of her..... Diane Sawyer interview, mid nineties....Whitney Houston declares that "crack is whack". Yo go girl.....oh wait...you gone girl. And Don Cornelius from the Sooooouuuuul Train decided he was done living. I always preferred Soul Train over American Bandstand, they had better musical guests. I never had to sit thru Abba lip syncing when watching Sooooouuuul Train. I think I am a better person today because of that.
Dear Republican voters,
What is going on? Can you please give Ron Paul just one caucus victory? Doesn't it just seem fair? You have allowed everyone else a win.....why not RP? He was only about 200 votes shy of Romney in the Maine caucus. I mean you let nutsy Santorum win a few......why can't you just all play nice?
Sincerely,
I almost feel your awkward uneasiness....
Kudos to the people at the Susan G. Komen for getting their heads out of their asses and reversing their decision to stop funding Planned Parenthood. If they went forward with their original plans, it would have been like the Humane Society saying that they are dedicated to helping all the animals....except for cats.
Also, shame on Rick Santorum for his stance on birth control. He doesn't feel that any type of birth control should be covered by insurance. YET, he is okay with drugs like Cialis and Viagra being covered under prescription drug plans. It just may be me, but I think if you can't pitch a tent, then you shouldn't go camping. And the less "tents pitched" must somehow lower the number of unwanted pregnancies. I'm just sayin'.
Oh, and speaking of Cialis....my spam mailbox was full today with great deals to help me with my erectile dysfunction on the most romantic of romantic days. Thank goodness....I have been trying to figure out what to do with this annoying problem and now I have several options, some even with free shipping. Also, Janet Jackson is trying to reach me via Linkedin. I wonder what the hell she wants.
Ok, since I started this posting, some time has passed. I have now ripped the second round of NASA grade adhesive electrodes from my body. I should have taken a picture after the removal...I looked like I was beaten....beaten bad. I am glad that thing is unattached from my body, for now I can lube myself up in Goo Gone and shower for as long as it takes to get this sticky residue off of me.
You may ask yourself, "I wonder what Julie is doing on this most nauseous of holidays?". Simple, I am going to have a German girls spa night. I have about 250lbs of German Shepherd that will be brushed, bathed, styled & dried, plus teeth will be cleaned and nails will be trimmed. I will be eating left overs (stuffed chicken breasts and roasted vegetables), doing a paraffin wax hand treatment, lounging on the couch and hopefully watching something on Netflix that involves a serial killer or a vampire....the two things I long to be when I grow up. Seems like a perfect evening to me!
In honor of German spa night, here is a pic of me when I was a young tot with my first love, Heidi. I think I kept crawling away and my Dad had Heidi lay on my feet to keep me put. As long as that dog was by my side, I didn't have a care in the world, and I think she felt the same way too.
Thanks to all that have been dedicated to reading my blogs.... don't forget to "follow me" and click on the
ads so I can pretend like I have an actual job. Plus, keep the comments coming....
I hope there aren't too many disappointed girls out there who received thoughtless, last minute, already picked over Valentine crap from Rite Aid tonight. If so....Pssst... he doesn't really care that much....
Ciao!
Jules
PS: Hey.....go click on a freakin' advertisement!!!
I have some exciting news!!! I think I have made one dollar and seventy-two cents (yes $1.72) from the ads posted on the web. I looked into it more closely, and figured out that only one person has clicked on an ad. Ummm....do better my faithful readers!!! If every reader would just click on one ad each time they visit my blog, I could make some serious change. And by change, I mean coinage....and by coinage, I mean hardly anything. I truly think that if I have the incentive of making money from this blog, I would take the time to write more. I am also thinking about taking the blog on the road to local wi-fi hot spots. I find in the winter, being a recluse, there are no stupid questions being asked of me, and that makes me wonder who all the stupid people are talking to.
So I had a physical by my doctor last Thursday. This is the first physical I've had since I worked at Kodak, about twenty years ago.
This is what I learned:
-My doctor has no idea who I am.
-I get lightheaded when asked to take deep breaths more than 8 times in a row.
-I am Vitamin D deficient.
-I always race to get undressed and into the gown, just to sit there for 10 minutes...waiting.
-The woman who works in the blood lab is a Jesus freak...even had Jesus themed Valentine decorations up in her office. I almost stole one of them to add to my Jesus shrine on my refrigerator.
-My ticker isn't ticking right....of course it isn't, it's me.
I am immediately sent from the doctor's office to the cardiologist to be hooked up to a heart holter (portable ECG unit) for 24 hours. What fun! So I get sent home with wires hanging off of 5 electrode patches that are stuck to me and plugged into the unit. The wires have been taped down all over my stomach and are getting all caught up on my shirt. I am to keep a running diary of every thing I do for the next 24 hours so they can see what is causing my heart palpitations/flutters. In the middle of the night, I wake up and find that 2 of the 5 patches are no longer stuck to me. What a bust! I call the cardiologist the next morning and they tell me to come back in on Monday to get hooked up again for another 24 hours. I am instructed to take off the electrodes and disconnect the unit....off course the tape they used on me has melded to my skin like super glue. I can't rip it off to save my life. I soak my taped skin in baby oil and it still won't budge. I finally get a small corner of one of the strips lifted by saturating my body in Goo Gone (clean orange scent!). As I rip each patch off of me, I notice that my skin is coming off with the tape. This is reminiscent of the time I had a bandaid on my forehead and when I ripped it off, it left a skinless impression of the bandaid on my face. Ouch! So, I went back to the cardiologist yesterday and brought my own tape for them to use. The nurse was shocked to see the red welts from the tape still on my body after 2 days. She had a good laugh over how I look like I've been branded. Ha...not funny lady. Unfortunately she has to add some liquid glue to the electrodes to ensure their tackiness. I am sure they will rip my skin off later when I remove the unit.
I don't know when I will get the results of my heart monitor reading....but I will let everyone know if I have a broken heart or what.
Now I would like to take a mili-moment of silence to honor a fallen sista....Whitney Houston.
Here is my favorite memory of her..... Diane Sawyer interview, mid nineties....Whitney Houston declares that "crack is whack". Yo go girl.....oh wait...you gone girl. And Don Cornelius from the Sooooouuuuul Train decided he was done living. I always preferred Soul Train over American Bandstand, they had better musical guests. I never had to sit thru Abba lip syncing when watching Sooooouuuul Train. I think I am a better person today because of that.
Dear Republican voters,
What is going on? Can you please give Ron Paul just one caucus victory? Doesn't it just seem fair? You have allowed everyone else a win.....why not RP? He was only about 200 votes shy of Romney in the Maine caucus. I mean you let nutsy Santorum win a few......why can't you just all play nice?
Sincerely,
I almost feel your awkward uneasiness....
Kudos to the people at the Susan G. Komen for getting their heads out of their asses and reversing their decision to stop funding Planned Parenthood. If they went forward with their original plans, it would have been like the Humane Society saying that they are dedicated to helping all the animals....except for cats.
Also, shame on Rick Santorum for his stance on birth control. He doesn't feel that any type of birth control should be covered by insurance. YET, he is okay with drugs like Cialis and Viagra being covered under prescription drug plans. It just may be me, but I think if you can't pitch a tent, then you shouldn't go camping. And the less "tents pitched" must somehow lower the number of unwanted pregnancies. I'm just sayin'.
Oh, and speaking of Cialis....my spam mailbox was full today with great deals to help me with my erectile dysfunction on the most romantic of romantic days. Thank goodness....I have been trying to figure out what to do with this annoying problem and now I have several options, some even with free shipping. Also, Janet Jackson is trying to reach me via Linkedin. I wonder what the hell she wants.
Ok, since I started this posting, some time has passed. I have now ripped the second round of NASA grade adhesive electrodes from my body. I should have taken a picture after the removal...I looked like I was beaten....beaten bad. I am glad that thing is unattached from my body, for now I can lube myself up in Goo Gone and shower for as long as it takes to get this sticky residue off of me.
You may ask yourself, "I wonder what Julie is doing on this most nauseous of holidays?". Simple, I am going to have a German girls spa night. I have about 250lbs of German Shepherd that will be brushed, bathed, styled & dried, plus teeth will be cleaned and nails will be trimmed. I will be eating left overs (stuffed chicken breasts and roasted vegetables), doing a paraffin wax hand treatment, lounging on the couch and hopefully watching something on Netflix that involves a serial killer or a vampire....the two things I long to be when I grow up. Seems like a perfect evening to me!
In honor of German spa night, here is a pic of me when I was a young tot with my first love, Heidi. I think I kept crawling away and my Dad had Heidi lay on my feet to keep me put. As long as that dog was by my side, I didn't have a care in the world, and I think she felt the same way too.
Thanks to all that have been dedicated to reading my blogs.... don't forget to "follow me" and click on the
ads so I can pretend like I have an actual job. Plus, keep the comments coming....
I hope there aren't too many disappointed girls out there who received thoughtless, last minute, already picked over Valentine crap from Rite Aid tonight. If so....Pssst... he doesn't really care that much....
Ciao!
Jules
PS: Hey.....go click on a freakin' advertisement!!!
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